I Saw You Golden

A S H

I saw you golden beyond the backyards. Your figure was immortal, stretched so heavenly I had  to crane my neck to witness your eyes. Towering over power lines, your bare skin bubbled like lava and glowed like hope. The outline of your grin appeared on that sunny edge and with your eyes on mine,  you went about your task. A single extended finger pierced the night. Walking with bounce, Nyx's cloak parted like a plume of ash. In your finger's wake, a blinding sunrise enveloped the sky. 

At the edge of my vision you balanced on your tippy-toes. You made a show of swaying and  giggled at my shock. Crouching down beyond the neighborhood and suburban edge I should know so  well, you leaned your chin on both hands and gazed at me with tender regard. White clouds and gentle  azure served as your backdrop, but I could only see your face through the outlines of your eyes, brows,  and lips. 

My voice was a willow on a tall hill seen from inside a car speeding through its valley. Yet  somehow you heard my worry and smiling you nodded. Without words you expressed security and  though I couldn't see the horizon, I knew that your assurances came with the beginning of the end. Your toes dipped past the world, into oblivion's edge.

With your finger you had birthed the sunrise, and then with your toe you summoned the void. It  was no light show, no spectacle of the imagination. The darkness that formed was haunting, rolling  over the calm and boring blue. Clouds did not hover, suspended in orange-tinted black, but sank like  suds in the sink when the stopper was pulled. I watched it all go but wouldn't take my eyes off you, not  when you were still smiling, still cherishing the look in my panicked eyes. I didn't see my  neighborhood fade but I saw light die on your face. 

Lacking your radiance, your golden shape looked dim, like a tarnished sculpture of antiquity too valuable to polish the centuries away. That ever confident smile was cracking. I saw your cheeks quiver to maintain its shape but the last of your lie faded in those melancholy eyes. You were world weary and heavy, dragged down by the multitude of things you couldn't say. I heard them. I heard them all and my eyes burned with sympathetic dismay. 

Extending my hand, I screamed, begging for you touch me. I was so small you were already on  your way down. Your shoulders rose, but this was like the ascension of the Titanic as its belly drowned. Your leg had sunk past the knee, the crook of your hinges swallowed by the depths. From forlorn and  regretful, your eyes took on a tremble. Though you swallowed back your fear with an anguished  courage, that knowledge of our parting stole your smile. 

Crying, begging for a different outcome, your hand left your melting face. For more than an  instant your conviction wavered and you reached out to touch me, to hold me in you solid frame. Yet  the moment was a mistake and as you realized it, you withdrew your hand and regarded your fate with  serenity. 

Head held high, you looked to the sky. It was all endless abyss that seamed to devour what it  touched. You looked to it with reverence and I saw you lip words of gratitude as you lowered yourself  past the hips. Running, I tried to get you to look at me, to remember what you were leaving and see the  life we could live. It made no difference. My legs couldn't carry me fast enough and the street ended in  a cul de sac without any homes and a featureless brick wall. 

In those final moment you descended like a swimmer on the edge of the pool. Stiff arms bent,  submerging yourself in end up to the navel. My actions were hardly noble. I scrambled and pleaded,  trying to climb what had no purchase only to fall with my finger pads scraped and my will bloodied. I  fell hard, smacking my tailbone onto too short grass. 

In my pain, you saw me or maybe remembered me. I should've rejoiced in our farewell,  cherishing that last look upon your face, but I was hurting and so your last look upon me was full of  worry. Yet I knew I would survive these scrapes. A gesture made me stop trying to climb. I don't know  if you waved but I think you lowered your head in an apologetic goodbye. 

Your adornment was falling. Every bit of precious metal shed like flakes and sprinkled down  like snow on a gentle wind. Your cheeks were flush with sorrow. Your brow was wet with worry. I looked not to any of those features, for I was desperate to see your eyes, and though every scrape of  valuable gilt peeled by that gaseous oblivion, it wouldn't break the shield over your sight. I couldn't see  your iris as you finally said, “Goodbye.” 

I blinked to clear tears and there was nothing to witness. The end had taken you all and soon  rose up around me. Though it had been light and mist, the darkness was now liquid. It rose up fast, its  texture thick. As soon as I thought to rise to my feet dark was swallowing my knees. 

I swam up through the texture clearing that brick wall in seconds. I paddled to your last location but found only splinters of your echoes. Desperate for your memory, I grabbed a log thick as my chest.  The gold stayed buoyant under my weight. For void was thicker than memories but I had enough of  you to stay afloat. On your golden solace I caught my breath and felt the current subside. Out on that  dark edge a new sun rose. The morning was hazy with regret but it showed me tomorrow.

For Pearl

AUTHOR BIO